VOTE CHEESE FOR PRESIDENT 2024
Respected fuzzball Cheese McAroni is running for presidency 2024!
They are asking for your help this coming election! Cheese has been serving her local household for
over 2 weeks, curtailing migrant mice and the impending meow mix inflation crisis. She is now ready to step
on up to serve her country! Please make a donation and spread the word of our impending savior Cheese!
"Meow meow meow, purr, weh. Mrow, mew, mrrr. Weh! Meh, mrrrp, geh. Hiss......"
-Cheese
WHY IS CHEESE RIGHT FOR YOU?
Policies:
- Will personally manage the USDA cheese stash, solving the surplus of cheese left to waste away.
- Will commission a dome to be built over all field mice reserves, saving the nation trillions in annual
pantry costs.
- Will eliminate taxes on all new cardboard boxes, giving easy access to housing to americans like Cheese
herself.
- Will legalize otherworldly entities joining the workforce to boost the country's economy.
- Will legalize human sacrifices ONLY if they are used to gain an upper hand in an electoral race.
Achievements:
- Once slept for at LEAST 26 hours straight.
- Resisted the urge to consume an entire lasagna in one gulp once.
- Protected democracy through extremely peaceful protest. There were NO physical
attacks on presidential candidate BEEF RAVIOLI.
- Volunteered for charity work under Nyarlathotep, soul and messenger of the great old ones.
- Successfully closed a portal to the underworld that was mysteriously opened through a human sacrifice.
- Managed my cow underling's electronic devices for a month.
THE OPPOSITION
Cheese believes in a fair democracy for everyone,
UNLESS that someone is
BEEF RAVIOLI.
The opposition leader Beef Ravioli has unfairly ascended to godhood prior to the election, promoting "Harmony"
for everyone. This is likely unconstitutional and undermines all legal processes put in place to keep elections
fair. Beef Ravioli has proven time and time again that their main goal is world domination, a slippery slope
to becoming a dictator. Reject Beef Ravioli's plans to turn our great nation into a holy theocracy, scaring off any
potential demonic entities looking to enter our workforce.
JOIN THE CHEESY SIDE
Spread the word! Join the fight against the holy forces of a god!
Cheese needs as much help as she can get! Show your support by making a small donation of cash, your soul, or your
firstborn to the email cheeseDoesNotHaveAnEmailYet@evil.com!
Together we can work together to make america malevolent again!
Cast your vote today!
